A Life for the Living

"Do not pity the dead, pity the living and above all… those who live without love."

It’s Just… Replacement

The Wind (Qami)

I am again alone in this terrible cold, you have troubled me too much

I wastefully repeated your name in my heart again and again



I remembered you on those playful nights and in this late hour

It has awoken and become my worst enemy… the wind


You are probably alone some where on the other side of the ocean

Shivering, shaking from the cold

But the wind has taken my embrace and will not let go

It resides next to me in my bed

 Chorus x3

Now there are 2 themes to this song, the obvious “a loved one leaving another” and then there is what follows the loved ones leaving, “replacement”. It is surprising how many friends people go through within their lifetime. Even the most lonely people, those who dont associate with others regularly, go through friends like toothbrushes. For some it is a part of their regular daily lives, but for others, loosing a friend (one that was especially close) comes at a great loss and it pains us to have to dissconect with them. They retreat to the other side of the ocean, never returning into our lives again. Once they leave we tell ourselves that we don’t need them, that they were irrelevant in our lives, which for the most part is or was untrue. Afterward, we feel a deep void in our hearts, reaching a depth that makes it seem like we will never get out. In most cases we try to find another, one that we hope will take the place of the one that left.Of course it never really does happen that you find the same exact person to befriend because when a friend leaves, it is like loosing a part of you. After all, you confided in that person right? You let open your heart and told them things that even your closest sibling dosent know. They know the things which scare you from the dark and those which you treasure from the light. In the end, you both became a part of on another… so that person is gone, what do you do now?

You search and search, scouring the tallest towers and climbing over the highest mountains. In truth, anyone will suffice, just as long as you are able to build something with them and just as long as they are willing to do anything for you. Anyway, you basically need a body to occupy your left or right side. Now you have found a replacement, a month or so passes and now what? You realize that the person you have befriended is not what you imagined. He or she is most probably the person with whom you had once quarreled. What do you do now? You and this person are fighting constantly (like before) and it is not to your liking. I guess you just have to pull through or maybe cut off all contact, because in the end … they were just a replacement.

It is so terribly hard to replace someone who was so great. One whom you confided in and they became a part of you. Others, not so much.


Lilit Hovhannisyan – Qami


One response to “It’s Just… Replacement

  1. Heart February 28, 2012 at 11:09 am

    The things that you wrote and the song, it broked my heart and my tears running down like rain. I wished to have a heart that hardens, because my current heart cannot take it anymore and I am dreaming to be in heaven instead of this dark world.

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