A Life for the Living

"Do not pity the dead, pity the living and above all… those who live without love."

At the Precipice

Precipice – A Villanelle

 

I walk the veiled line of twilight’s shadow
Cast by the fires that burn deep within
Lost to the way as my mind falls astray

Floundering winds tear my thoughts free
As I totter the path so meagerly thin
I walk the veiled line of twilight’s shadow

Sanity and inanity set forth a plea
As I fall to either side of the line again
Lost to the way as my mind falls astray

What has been, what is, and what will be
Thunder and rage as my thoughts ascend
I walk the veiled line of twilight’s shadow

Unhallowed yearnings long to be free
As the light draws dim and the dark descends
Lost to the way as my mind falls astray

No one can save me as I fall so erringly
For time and again I am nothing but my sins
I walk the veiled line of twilight’s shadow
Lost to the way as my mind falls astray

——Sheri Hockman

 

This poem sparked my interest not only because I hadn’t herd a poem style by the name of villanelle but it’s subject. The author is writing about uncertainty, she is walking upon this line which she doesn’t know where it will lead her and she cannot fall to either side so she just falls. What it basically means is that this woman is faced with a tough decision and she is unsure about what to do, so she just let the dice fall where they do.

In life we are faced with many tough decisions whether these decisions will change our lives or not is irrelevant, what really matters is that we are never taught how to come to a resolve. Follow your heart. Wing it. Do what Jesus would do. All very poor answers to the question “what should I do”. Sure some decisions come easy and following your heart is like following a line but some others are life changing and take much pondering over. Unfortunately, one can sit and ponder for days, months at a time and never being able to come to a true resolve. Its just like the picture on the right of the poem, your eyes can travel up, down, and even on the sides they contain path after path but which do you take? How do you know what to do?

When faced with a tough decision, our first instinct is to go upon the first resolve we come upon but our brains don’t let our emotions do all the work, it interferes and tells us the logical thing to do. Then we seek counsel from our family, which will give us one more resolve, making a total of three. For clarity and another outlook we go again to seek counsel but this time from a third option (friends, church, boyfriend or girlfriend) and they will give us another resolve, which makes four. Unfortunately our brain is not kind to us, so the brain combines and mixes them up and duplicates them, making eight. So we have many to choose from but which do we choose?

Even though we are never really taught to be able to tell which decision is correct, in our minds we already know there is the one that will make us happy and full us up with the utmost joy and ecstasy. Then there is the one that will make us happy later on, in the long run even if we have to be miserable for the next few months. The resolve with present happiness and the one with the curent happiness, which do you go with. You know that the one will make you happy later on even though you are unsure when and you know the other will keep you happy until know and possibly into the seeable future. Which do you choose? How do you choose? Push yourself to the precipice, only there will you find your answer.
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