"Do not pity the dead, pity the living and above all… those who live without love."
Is it Doubt?
Recently, I have found myself full of doubt. It’s like all of the things I have done in the past are coming back to haunt my very being. Was I right to let go of the one person that harmed me, who was also my greatest joy? Was it right for me to do something terrible as long at it was for a few seconds of pleasure? I am doing or living my life the right way? How can I be certain? I cant, and thats where all of this doubt comes from. It comes from all of the memories and all of the darkness which floods every single empty void in my body and makes me shiver, hairs standing on end. Doubt, in and of itself, is a nasty feeling. It goes hand in hand with jealousy yet this feeling lasts terribly longer because there is no real way to resolve it.
The worst type of doubt comes from the relationships you hold with people because that type of doubt almost never finds a way to resolve itself. You never really know if someone was going to betray you. You can never be certain if that person was going to love you. And above all, you can never be positive that the decision you made was the right choice. It hurts me terribly to feel all of these things but its a part of everyday life, without doubt as your guide, you are lost. It helps you make sure that what you did was the right thing to do. If you feel doubt, then it wasent. So I think that the most reasonable thing to do is go back and undo what you have done.
Doubt is something that is definitely unavoidable but you can make it easier if you walk into something with a clear head and mind. Cut all loose ends before starting something new so you can walk into something and be certain of it.