"Do not pity the dead, pity the living and above all… those who live without love."
Monthly Archives: August 2013
“Know that if you do anything else or say anything to hurt my sister again, I will kill you.” For the first time in a long time, I was furious and angry. My tone was no longer pleasant and kind, it was serious and reasuring. Just the thought of his words filled me with anger and disgust.
“Screw Lena and Emmit, I dont care about them. Let them do whatever the hell they want. I am going with to come with Karine and her mom in the mornings.” He was so cold and lifeless, like he had been when we first met, Peter was turning back the clock and going back to the corpse-like state he had been which only angered me further. But no matter how furious I was it still didnt make an imprint into Peters humanity, he looked me in the eye and began to laugh.
“You?! You wont kill me! You cant!!” He seemed to underestimate me. Had this been another time and a different situation, there was no way that I could take his life but seeing as he put me in this state of mind, I could actually pull it off. Not to mention that he was always pushing me and testing my limits, this time he pushed too far.
So I composed myself and took a deep breath before speaking
“I won’t hu?! Alright let me take you into a chokehold and lets see if I let go.” There was no anger in my voice, just a relaxed monotone output. But even still Peter continued to laugh never the less, he agreed.
“Ok!! Lets…do…it!!” Peter found himself very cocky and I had warned him many times before to not gain so much confidence but he never listened. So today that lesson would take on a physical effect. On this day, Peter would pay the price for his over confidence. So opened my arms and let him into my grip. As he rested his neck on my inner elbow, my heartbeat increased ten-fold. It was beating simultaneously with Peters heart as I felt it from his major neck artery.
“Are you ready?” I didn’t even wait for a response, instead my grip slowly tightened like a snake capturing its prey. A couple minutes passed before Peter spoke in a laughing tone,
“Ok. You can let go now.” He gave a few nervous chuckles before realizing that he had bitten of more than he could chew. I was going to kill him and we both knew it. He spoke the words again forcing them out of his mouth as he struggled to let himself out of my lock. But I could not hear his plea, his voice was faint in my mind, I was more focused on the sound of my blood pumping faster and faster. Through my veins, to my legs, up to my arms, and finally to my head. I took a deep breath to take the edge of, to calm me down, and time slowed down. My heart beats retarded and became steady. Peters movements too became slow but I moved through time at a steady rate. It was like everything was put on hold to give me a second so I may gather my thoughts. I didn’t understand it but I was glad it happened. Then I heard Peter’s voice in my memories,
“Your a girl, no joke!! Grow some balls! Are you gay, ‘cuz you seemed like a faggot to me!!” All the pain Peter caused me grew and expanded in my head, all the words I told him I forgave him for piled up like grains of sand and became this massive emotional sand dune. I looked up in the mirror only to notice my eyes changing color. It’s natural bright hazel state had now turned into a boiling blood red inferno. Then I looked upon Peter, he was still struggling to gain his pace back in time, tapping my arm fircely in attempts to gain my attention but I was too focused on the job at hand. Peter was going to pay for what he had put me through.
I looked into his eyes, hoping to get a glimpse of how his life would use it as an exit door to leave his body, for a persons eyes are a window into their soul. Slowly, life began to leave him. He was lazily gasping for air as his cheeks slowly became host to the color purple and then something else. From Peters frosty blue eyes, there dropped a tear. Instantly I became reminded of the last time he had shed a tear infront of me. It was during my birthday when he had committed a crime against me and I thought that I would never be able to forgive him. That same night, he came to me with sorrow filled eyes and an apology that I would never forget.
“I promise, I will never do anything to hurt you. Please. I can’t lose a friend like you.” I became angry with his empty promise
“You liar! You lied to me!” I yelled aloud as time regained its pace and I tightened my grip as far as it would go. His words filled my head again,
“ I love you. Please. You’re like an older brother to me.” All of a sudden, I was struck by a force greater than myself and I released him and took a couple steps back to the wall behind me. He fell to the floor trying to catch his breath, taking his hands to his neck as if to free an invisible noose that binded him. Peter was still choking and I couldn’t understand it. I stepped forward again, pitting my efforts with his to try and free him.
“Don’t you dare die on me!” I yelled while trying to free him from this unknown danger. In fear I stepped back from him and leaned against the wall as my legs collapsed under me and I fell to the floor in panic and in tears. All of a sudden he stopped his fierce gesticulating and random body jerks and lied completely still. I took my hands up towards my eyes to wipe the tears of my face only to see the blood that was already there. Had I succeeded in killing my own Little Brother? Or rather the person whom I had considered my younger brother. I crawled over to his body to see that he was laying down with a bloody nose, terrified, trying to catch his breaths. I tried to hoist his tired body up to stand on his feet.
“Come on. Get up. Don’t let your dad come home and see you like this. Lets go get you washed up.”
He forced himself out of my touch. “Don’t come near me! I’m not going anywhere with you!”