A Life for the Living

"Do not pity the dead, pity the living and above all… those who live without love."

Hack Your Brain

Oh my how I adore StumblUpon! This time while stumbling upon websites I came across one that was rather interesting. It was all about how to “hack your brain” as they described it and it was something I really needed actually. You see some people, like myself, are bombarded with millions of thoughts. If I were to keep track on paper of all the thoughts that ran thought my head in five minutes, it would fill over ten pages front and back. You see, it’s a sort of curse that courses though my body. Although it give me the ability to expect the unexpected, I find my brain thinking the same things over and over again and sometimes it feels like my brain is about to fry. I find myself not being able to find peace because there is always something on my mind and even if I write it down or talk about it; whatever is on my mind sticks there. Forever. Sometimes there seems to be no room for anything else. So you can imagine my relief when finding this article.

So the first method it speaks of is called priming your brain, which involves associating a certain, feeling with a word or repeating a set of words to get you on to that track of thinking. Like saying, “I don’t need that extra piece of pie” but I guess it only works when saying it out loud and actually seeing the phrase in front of you. Taking it even further, you can “hack” your brain to associate certain objects with certain feelings but the article says that you can’t make yourself do what you don’t want to. So your emotions cannot get in the way but it also contradicts itself, describing how you can channel your emotions to feel a certain way. With all that said I think I am going to try this out myself. Maybe I can teach myself to forget things that have past but if I am thinking about it, I’m not really forgetting am I?

That’s what I hate about all of these psychological theories and methods. They all contradict one another and nothing is ever certain. I feel like you can really do anything and there are no boundaries or limitations. Although in this article they set up certain cannot and do not rules but they go on to contradict themselves and reveal loopholes. So there is really no solid way to hack your brain, its all trial and error. I also feel like if you know all of this information then you know you are hacking your brain and if you know, is it really working? It’s like knowingly taking a placebo, does it or will it rally work in that case? Again its hard to say and it seems like nothing is for certain, but I am going to try these out and see what I come out with. Someone was able to hack my brain once so lets see if I am able to do it myself






How To Live

While doing some research for my auto biography, I came across Dalai Lamas 18 rules for living.

1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

2. When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.

3. Follow the three Rs: 1. Respect for self 2. Respect for others 3. Responsibility for all your actions.

4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.

5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.

6. Don’t let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

7. When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

8. Spend some time alone every day.

9. Open your arms to change, but don’t let go of your values.

10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

11. Live a good, honourable life. Then when you get older and think back, you’ll be able to enjoy it a second time.

12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.

13. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don’t bring up the past.

14. Share your knowledge. It’s a way to achieve immortality.

15. Be gentle with the earth.

16. Once a year, go someplace you’ve never been before.

17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.

18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.


I think these are wonderful ways to live a life, each rule has a wonderful moral that should be followed. While reading this list I thought about how this could apply to my everyday life and I saw that these are little things that I can do every day. Some of these I already do but I think that if we are raised with these rules, all of our lives would be much different. Think about it. If every single person followed and did there part to be gentle with the Earth, we wouldn’t be running out of natural resources right now. Or personally, if I only dealt with the current situation in disagreements with loved ones, I might still have somebody I hold most dear next to me. And if we all follow these rules, then we understand one another and nobody takes advantage. In the future, I am going to try and raise my kids with these rules and hopefully they will lead a more full life.

What I really like about these rules is that neither of them contradict one another. People right these ways to live a happy life but most of them contradict one another. Something like “Live life how you want to but work hard to play hard.” How can you base you life on something that is contradictory? It just doesn’t work. I just wish that some of these rules were a little easy to follow and I keep looking back to number 13. We as humans are taught to look back inorder to see the future. So when fighting with someone we love, we look to the past for guidance. While looking to place forgiveness on someone, we always look back to see if they deserve it. But while only dealing with the current situation, we might overlook the crucial details that were left in the past. Like in a book I read: a husband cheated on his wife and she forgave him only because she loved him. She overlook things that happened in the past and found it in herself to give him one more try. Unfortunately he took advantage of that and soon after he started cheating again. Poor woman. All she could do was sit with her hands folded and say “Men never change do they”.

Its a cruel world we live in. People jump each other for the next big thing or the next big opportunity. They would kill one another if it wasn’t illegal. If only we all lived by these rules, life would be so wonderful but unfortunately we do not and it is meaningless to hope and wish.


Article and Picture

Things You’ve Felt…

So I came across this article while on StumblUpon and it sort-of opened my eyes. It lists 10 psychological states that someone has felt but has never found something to call it. I will just give you a quick summary of a couple of them.

Dysphoria: is used to describe the feeling of sadness that also includes restlessness and random irritation. This emotion is usually the cause of deppression, a distressing situation, or extreme bordem.

Enthrallment: the feeling a step up from happiness. A feeling that uplifts you and raises your mood tremendously. This emotion is usually felt when you see something amazing or great for the first time like a concert or a rocket taking off.

Normopathy: this idea was created to describe the need to be “normal” or the need to fit in with everybody else. Many people experience this, even if it is very minor, at various point in their life while trying to blend in a new social surrounding or while trying to hide practices they preform which most people would condemn.

Abjection: this is an emotion which is felt by every human durring infancy when you come to the realization that your body is seperate from your mothers. As a result we have a sense of horror that we carry with us throught our lives. This feeling is also later felt when you see a dead body because you realize that the person laying there could be you.

Sublimation: was created to describe the use of sexual desire towards doing something productive. This is usually felt when you have that weird intense passionate feeling to write or do what you are good at.

It is interesting that while we feel these feelings very frequently, we dont even know what they are called. I am glad I read this article because now I can call my feelings something because for some reason it always interests people. “Whats wrong” they ask, so now I can answer “Nothing. Im Dysphoic” or “Nothing I am just Enthralled”.




A “New” Year

               I came across a very interesting website while searching statistics to do my article for school. According to this website people make all of these resolutions and most of them end up failing but it got me thinking, why do people take such joy out of a New Year? It seems like everybody everywhere has these grand celebrations for New Years when in truth, it is just another day. People are literally celebrating the coming of a new day. So if that is the case lets have a party at the end of every month the celebrate the coming of a new month. My point is that there is no magic in the New Year, it is not a magic eraser that cleans your slate and helps you start fresh and most of all, it is not something that erases your past. People act like the New Year flushes out your brain to bring fresh new memories when in truth, those old memories are still there. Sure you do make new memories but you make new memories every week, every day, every hour, and every minute you are breathing. So again, what makes this New Year such a big deal?

Here is what makes it as such; it is just something for people to believe in to give them hope, false hope. Its like religion, we don’t know for sure that there is a god but we keep an image of him in our brains to give us hope that eventually things will get better. The truth is that they wont! God isn’t going to change anything for you and neither is this “New Year” you have to do everything yourself. If you want to loose weight, you have to make an effort. If you want to find love, you have to put yourself out there. If you want to change something in you life, its all up to YOU.

Life isn’t magically going to change itself, you have to be the one to change it. Sure the New Year provides a whole new label and a whole new set of 365 days but it is up to you how you spend them.





Isolate [Yourself]

I was moving through some blogs and I came across this article, which sort of caught my eye. This article was about how Ron Paul wanted to actually resurrect the idea of isolationism. America had isolated itself many years ago during Word War II and many times afterward to evade communism and other issues but I couldn’t wrap my head around America being isolated and I took it even one step farther and related it to humans.

So I thought to myself, why is it that humans choose to be alone? Why do some insist on isolating themselves? Is it out of fear from the world? Are they scared that they will not survive? The answer is somewhat simple, we isolate ourselves because we cannot or do not fit in. We do it to ourselves in order to evade judgment and ridicule. But many do not fear judgment in fact they welcome it. Judgment feeds their egos and it allows them to grow as people, making them a stronger person in order to survive the darkness that lies ahead. No matter how much someone should try and avoid judgment, there is no escape. This world is one filled with much judgment and loads of heartbreak.

We must avoid isolating ourselves by simply trusting and throwing ourselves into the unknown dark abyss that lies ahead. Nothing good ever does come from being alone and many who are alone wish they weren’t but by the time they realize it, its too late. At that point they feel like they are lost, not knowing where home is. They realize that they have lost everything near and dear to them and that they can never be at peace with themselves or even at least remotely happy. To isolate yourself is a dangerous game, like playing with fire




At the Precipice

Precipice – A Villanelle


I walk the veiled line of twilight’s shadow
Cast by the fires that burn deep within
Lost to the way as my mind falls astray

Floundering winds tear my thoughts free
As I totter the path so meagerly thin
I walk the veiled line of twilight’s shadow

Sanity and inanity set forth a plea
As I fall to either side of the line again
Lost to the way as my mind falls astray

What has been, what is, and what will be
Thunder and rage as my thoughts ascend
I walk the veiled line of twilight’s shadow

Unhallowed yearnings long to be free
As the light draws dim and the dark descends
Lost to the way as my mind falls astray

No one can save me as I fall so erringly
For time and again I am nothing but my sins
I walk the veiled line of twilight’s shadow
Lost to the way as my mind falls astray

——Sheri Hockman


This poem sparked my interest not only because I hadn’t herd a poem style by the name of villanelle but it’s subject. The author is writing about uncertainty, she is walking upon this line which she doesn’t know where it will lead her and she cannot fall to either side so she just falls. What it basically means is that this woman is faced with a tough decision and she is unsure about what to do, so she just let the dice fall where they do.

In life we are faced with many tough decisions whether these decisions will change our lives or not is irrelevant, what really matters is that we are never taught how to come to a resolve. Follow your heart. Wing it. Do what Jesus would do. All very poor answers to the question “what should I do”. Sure some decisions come easy and following your heart is like following a line but some others are life changing and take much pondering over. Unfortunately, one can sit and ponder for days, months at a time and never being able to come to a true resolve. Its just like the picture on the right of the poem, your eyes can travel up, down, and even on the sides they contain path after path but which do you take? How do you know what to do?

When faced with a tough decision, our first instinct is to go upon the first resolve we come upon but our brains don’t let our emotions do all the work, it interferes and tells us the logical thing to do. Then we seek counsel from our family, which will give us one more resolve, making a total of three. For clarity and another outlook we go again to seek counsel but this time from a third option (friends, church, boyfriend or girlfriend) and they will give us another resolve, which makes four. Unfortunately our brain is not kind to us, so the brain combines and mixes them up and duplicates them, making eight. So we have many to choose from but which do we choose?

Even though we are never really taught to be able to tell which decision is correct, in our minds we already know there is the one that will make us happy and full us up with the utmost joy and ecstasy. Then there is the one that will make us happy later on, in the long run even if we have to be miserable for the next few months. The resolve with present happiness and the one with the curent happiness, which do you go with. You know that the one will make you happy later on even though you are unsure when and you know the other will keep you happy until know and possibly into the seeable future. Which do you choose? How do you choose? Push yourself to the precipice, only there will you find your answer.

What happens…after?

[yframe url=’http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QdUGoFTfP7w’%5D


When I first heard about this video, I thought it was just another charlatan going on TV and preaching about how the ‘all mighty God’ had warned him that something is coming. Now its true that the rest of it is just one long lecture – which I just sort of fast forwarded – but the part about the young boy got me wondering, not just about the magical and miracle aspect of it but of the personal aspect as well. 

First off, I am not such a heavy believer in God but I do believe that there is some greater power controlling our destinies and that there is a place where all of our souls go. When I was a kid, I focus heavily on Heaven and what god what look like, his angels, the clouds, the gates, and what would be waiting there for me after I died. As I got older I lost my belief in heaven and came to the conclusion that our souls become powerful entities that drift off into another realm, which is here on Earth. I’m saying this because I have had experiences with death but I never went up to Heaven like this boy and I was out cold for a long time. I saw people who had died and I got to speak to them but it wasn’t really Heaven, it was elsewhere, like another world or another dimension. So does that mean that each of us go to the places we believe in after we die? Maybe I wasn’t dead enough (if that is even possible) and I was just stuck in a limbo. Is this magic; is this science, what is this?

Me being Oh So Oso, I decided to add a psychological standpoint to my magical one. Since this boy’s father is a pastor, I am sure that the family as a whole is very religious. So assuming that my theory about dimensions is correct when this boy, Colton, died his brain must have created the world that his father describes every Sunday. See in his mind, Colton has a perfect vision of what it is going to be like when he dies so when he did die, the magical aspect came in and created the world he knows. The same happened to me, since I no longer believe in Heaven, my vision of another dimension was created. Am I making sense? It’s hard to explain something that isn’t really concrete. And if all this is true and we all just go to the places we believe in when we die, does a Heaven really exist? Or am a totally wrong and there is a God that just follows our wishes to place us where we want when we die?

Unfortunately we will never know. Its not like you can place this theory in a lab and experiment and I guess maybe that how its supposed to be. Maybe we aren’t told this because whoever is the greater power doesn’t want us to skip forward in our lives and just go to the perfect world that comes with death. We will never know 




Past? or Future?

I came across this picture while on Stumble-upon and its message seemed to speak to me. All our lives we are told “your future lies in your past” or “the past is the stepping stones to the future” or my personal favorite “if you know where you have been, you will know where you are going” but whoever is saying those general comments don’t realize that its more than just that. The past doesn’t tells you where you are going, it tells you where not to go and these quotes are all implying that you will know your future because it is in your past. The quote above is more accurate, “Dwell not on the past use it to illustrate a point and leave it behind” that is all there is to it. Use the past like a pair of sunglasses, only use it when necessary and don’t use it when it’s not needed.

Everybody’s pasts are full of dark and light memories and they both have great impacts on us. The good memories remind us that life isn’t so cruel, that life can be beautiful sometimes, that in all the darkness that exists there can sometimes be a light. The dark memories remind us the keep ourselves reserved, to protect ourselves from the rising evils that threaten our well being, to change ourselves and help us adapt in order for us to survive this wretched world. In order to remember our past properly, we must remember both light and dark that is behind us. If only the light is remembered, one will go through life naively and if only the dark is remembered, one will go through life and become unsuccessful. There is a certain balance to uphold but most of the time we don’t even have to think about keeping the balance – almost like breathing – the only exception to that is love and we all know how love seems to cloud our judgment.

Some live in the past, which is unwise. Just like it says, use it only to illustrate a point and move on. In my opinion, dwelling on the past is unwise that is why I write in a journal and keep it put behind me in a box. Sometimes I will go back and use the past as a battering ram into my future or sometimes I will go back and remind myself not to make those mistakes. The past holds a huge amount of significance but so does the present. Living for the past or living for the future is pointless. Live for just right now, the dark times and the light ones. Go through life being spontaneous and making choices that seem right. I believe that we each have a certain design set for us – fate, destiny, or whatever you want to call it – and in the end we will all find our rightful place, even if that place does not make us happy. So technically since your done reading this, it is considered to be in the past now, it’s your choice to remember this whole this or not. But remember this regardless, “Life is kind, life is cruel, but life is short. Look to the past to help guide you to your future but don’t let your past become your future.” Some wise words, because I am just Oh So Oso.



No, Do not Trust

[yframe url=’http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xsk3re3IKbs’%5D

“No” By Polina Gagarina Lyrics

Surprised to see you at the other end of the alley.
I had stopped loving you, but yet you’re so beautiful.
I’ve changed, you grew up and became even more emboldened.
You are closer, like a silent hero in black and white movies.
My heart is going to beat out of my chest!

Do not trust me anymore, do not believe me anymore.
More beautiful lies told that you shouldn’t trust
Do not trust me anymore, an unopened envelope, forgive me for my answer, and still “no.”
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

The answers are the same at your same questions.
But you are so gentle that I would have said liked to say “Yes”.
You are inescapable, your arms like steel cables.
You were coming from the darkness and the low drifting clouds.
And your lips so close to me.

Do not trust me anymore, do not believe me anymore.
More beautiful lies told that you shouldn’t trust
Do not trust me anymore, an unopened envelope, forgive me for my answer, and still “no.”
No, no, no, no, no, no, no. x3

I saw this very eye catching video while browsing what was new in Moscow and the words just seemed to grab me. All of her songs seem to have such deep meanings and I take it even deeper than how she means them. This song can be looked at from two angles, romantically or generally and although she meant them romantically, I want to apply this to only friendships. After all, a relationship is just a flourished and more romantic friendship right? So what happens when you are in a friendship that seems to entrap you like steel cables? What happens when all of your answers towards that person change to no? Friendships, the ones that actually mean something, are delicate and there are many types of friendships but there is one that is the most painful but the most rewarding.  I call this “Friendship B” and it requires a very precise amount of love and an even more precise amount of effort. This is the friendship where one learns from another, where they both grow at the same time and eventually sprout to become the same tree. Unfortunately “Friendship B” doesn’t end so happily, in most cases I have seen it fail. One expects too much and the other expects to little. One grows along a path, while the other grows in another even thought they are growing from the same place. Of course there are moments where the friendship is sanguine but they are very rare and unfortunately don’t last very long. Soon each friend starts to change and the outcome is a failure of “Friendship B”. Case closed. But the one thing that I found most interesting is that the people, who failed to have a successful “Friendship B”, when brought together, have a successful “Friendship B”. In that case, is it really a “Friendship B”? Who knows? That is for you to decide. I am just Oh So Oso.


“No” By Polina Gagarina Video


I came across this picture while looking for new wallpapers for my computer. This picture – although not so great a wallpaper – has a hidden message to it. Most people would think of it as just a harmless picture, which animates televisions, but only some would see it for what it really is. It is a message to everyone that instead of having our own minds and thoughts, we are being controlled by the media and by other sources of entertainment. The television sets placed where the heads should be gives a great representation of that and makes that thought come to life.

In the 50’s, it was often that Americans kept themselves busy. The children had school, the mothers had housekeeping, and the fathers had work. There only time for leisure on the weekends and even then, the average American family would go out together and spend time. Sure many houses did own television sets but it was more like a furnishing, just to show how wealthy you were. Plus back then, there wasn’t too many shows being broadcasted. A few movies sometimes, a cooking show here and there, presidential events and news, but that was pretty much it. Today, in the average American household, each room has at least one T.V. There is a disconnection between families and something even more terrible, brainwashing. Today’s shows seem to have an awfully heavy effect on people, especially kids. Whatever they see on T.V. they duplicate it. If a T.V. program is showing that brothers and sisters hate each other, then that is the example they will follow. Television and movies weigh heavily on a child’s development. A child of three that I know, watched the Incredibles, a seemingly harmless movie rated ‘G’. After watching it the second time, he was already trying to quote them. By the third time, he was pretending that he had super-strength and went through the house like a tornado. By the fourth time he started to relate objects in real life to the things he had seen in the movies for example; he came running to me one day screaming and from what I understood he wanted me to come with him to see something, so I followed. He stood behind me and pointed to an ornate Faberge egg yelling and screaming that at the slightest touch, it would explode. After watching the Incredibles with him the fifth time I realized that the Faberge egg looked somewhat like the bomb that one of the villains had thrown at a super hero. When I was telling his family that he was affected by this movie, they said that he was just having fun and it was all good fun and pretend. It was indeed just pretend but wouldn’t it be better if it came from his own imagination? He was just reenacting what he had seen in the movie and unfortunately that is how all kids are raised. They are controlled by movies and T.V. convinced that whatever they saw on the screen was the truth and that you would be a fool to think other wise.

But it doesn’t just stop when you are a kid it carries on even in teenage years. I know plenty of teenagers of my age and younger that speak as if they were in a movie, quoting from them and making no sense at all. It’s sad to say that they will most probably end up growing up and being an adult with a television mind, just like the people in this picture. Now I would be a liar to say that I never follow shows on the Internet, that I never quote from them, or learn things from them but the only difference is that I filter what I see. If you are educated enough and know all that I have just said, it gives you the advantage to filter what you watch and see what is real and what is not. What is fact and what is folly. What is palpable and what is not. Hopefully our generation of kids will be able to break free of this whole movie and television control otherwise, I fear the worst. How can a country function when all of its citizens can be turned and persuaded by a quick broadcast? What type of country will our country be? Just something to think about.